‘Grass is Greener’ Syndrome & Intimacy

Commitment struggles can be exhausting and frustrating. Some struggle to feel intimately close with others, or can’t quite settle down, or constantly urge to run away from relationships when long-term commitment becomes realistic. This can show up with relationships, career, and where to live, or can manifest as feeling trapped in patterns of indecision in various areas of life.

In my practice, I have worked with many people over the years who find themselves constantly looking for the ‘greener grass’. This often occurs when the excitement of the current situation starts to fade out, or a more seemingly attractive scenario presents itself. For many, the looming temptation to chase the next attractive possibility can become a pattern, making it difficult to feel fulfilled and settled. 

However, ‘grass is greener’ syndrome and general commitment issues are not one and the same. ‘Grass is greener’ syndrome has an underlying theme that tends to repeat over and over, in many ways feeling like where you are now is not as good as it could be, and needing to find the better option you’re missing.

Whereas, with general commitment issues, there may be the desire to settle down or commit, but something makes you want to hold back — such as struggles with intimacy, closeness, feeling trapped, etc. — that doesn’t necessarily bear the repetitive need to find the better option you may be missing in the way that ‘grass is greener’ syndrome tends to do.

Working Together

In my practice, I work closely with people who struggle with ‘grass is greener’ syndrome and/or general commitment struggles. We go at your pace in a supportive, warm, and reflective process as we get to know your experience and what is underlying and reinforcing these mechanisms for you. Throughout our process I am here with you as we work to create the space for you to become more settled and decisive in your life.


Contact Nathan for a therapy or coaching consultation. Therapy services are provided in-person in New York City or online. (Currently all sessions are online. In-person sessions will resume for those in NYC once the pandemic has subsided). Online coaching services are offered nationally and internationally. 


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